jeudi, juin 29, 2006

Boyfriend contre destruction de cafard

Craigslist est une plateforme qui rencontre énormément de succès aux States. On y trouve de tous (j'y ai trouvé mon appart', mes étudiants, j'y ai vendu/acheté des trucs), les gens peuvent aussi poster leurs opinions. Y'a un peu de tout sur tout. c'est plutôt cool.
Voici ce qu'à posté cette New-Yorkaise, j'ai vécu une expérience (oups, plusieurs fois en fait) similaire. Mais ça semble être du gros business pour elle.
Comment se débarasser de la bestiole la plus affreuse qui existe sur cette planète: le cafard (américain je tiens à préciser, car ici aussi bien à Austin qu'à NYC, ils sont énormes)

Don't get me wrong. Casual dating is great right now. It is SPRING. And fortunately, I have a few chill friends I can do the drunk/sex/brunch thing with and happily not see for a few weeks while meeting new people stress-free. So I'm all set for now, right?

Wrong. Very, very wrong. Relaxing in my apartment a couple nights back and look up to spot what I can only assume is a mouse - which I can totally handle, heck even co-habitate with. And what else could be an inch and a half long and at least an inch tall with visable legs?

I'll tell you what: The LARGEST FUCKING COCKROACH I have ever seen in my entire life.

And trust...this is New York City...we have all seen/killed a lot of roaches. I tried to catch it under a bowl but only nipped it mid-section. I thought it was dead (ha!) but, when I moved the bowl it bolted under my very low-to-the-ground-crammed-with-random-crap bed.

UNDER MY FUCKING BED. GREAT.

I thought I was going to have to stay with friends. I thought I was going to have to fucking move out. But then it emerged. It was so god damn big I HEARD it scuttle out and caught it. (Yes, I screamed like a little girl.)

Good, right? So now what? I have a mouse-sized cockroach under a pyrex salad bowl in the middle of my studio floor and we are on day three. I can't ask a booty-call to handle this...totally not part of the job description. I called a male friend to help and he told me to let it starve. Starve?!? It's a fucking roach, a monster roach, a 900 year-old SUPER ROACH. This is not something you can squish with a paper towel. I don't even think you could step on it...ugh. In fact, I'm a little worried it might lift the bowl while I'm at work.

This bitch needs to be slammed with a rubber mallet.

So...for the first time in a year I totally miss having a boyfriend. Fuck the drama, late-night jealous "where are you" calls, and panic attacks my last one gave me. I need a dude willing to drop everything to come over and kill that fucking roach.

For that matter, I also need a boyfriend to fix an electrical outlet on an old lamp, and fine-tune a stereo problem I am having. Crap, this sucks.

3 commentaires:

heleneamazone a dit…

Trop fort ! Ca m'a rappele ma vie avant, dans mon premier appart a Montpellier, les cafards (pas si gros quand meme) et pas de boyfriend ! Et parfois c'est utile un boyfriend, comme pour allumer un barbecue, ou tuer une grosse araignee...

Jean-Philippe a dit…

Excellente, cette histoire !! Comme quoi, la prochaine fois que votre bf vous fera une crasse, mesdames, souvenez-vous qu'il vaut toujours mieux avoir un jeune homme, grand, beau et fort sous la main (sic!)

Anonyme a dit…

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